Continuing on the tail of the previous post, Bill O’Reilly has become a meme yet again. After he accepted that tides could be caused by the moon, he couldn’t believe that the moon was not placed there by the tender hands of a bearded man in the sky. It has become too much for my brain and I can only come to one solid conclusion.
Bill O’Reilly is the greatest troll to ever exist.
And he doesn’t do it solely for the lulz.
I made this to illustrate my point.
This is the only logical explanation that I can come to.
I don’t doubt that Bill O’Reilly is a conservative and true Republican. But, checking Wikipedia, O’Reilly was born in 1949. His schooling may have been pre-”small forming world crashed into forming Earth to create the moon” theory, but not prior to lunar pull! This is elementary school knowledge.
So my only thought can be that he knows what he is saying is idiotic, but he also knows that he is making a boat load of cash because of it.
Admit it, you have said some hyperbolic things to win an argument. I know I have. If millions of dollars are at stake? Even those of us who consider ourselves the most moral and most likely to rise above the petty pieces of paper that drive the American people have a price.
I could sleep soundly accepting this fact. But then comes Beck and Palin and all the others. They have to be trolls in the vein of O’Reilly. Right?!?! They have to be earning their bucks swindling people with simple catchphrases and American flags. They have to know that they are espousing base level stupidity. Right?!?!?!?!
I wouldn’t like it, but I could believe that they are living the American dream by drooling out doldrums to fatten their wallets. Much like Larry the Cable Guy. You have to admit that while his act works low brow puns and silly slogans, he has to be a smart guy to pull the act off. That must be what these politicians and talking heads are doing as well!
Because, if it isn’t, I weep for us and our future and, Flying Spaghetti Monster help me, the children. And I can only hope that we deteriorate from super power as quickly as possible for the good of a humanity that should count itself lucky to accidentally exist.
My wacky friend forwarded me this, which he received from his friend who had received it from her mother. I won’t bother with any set-up, we’ll just dive right in.
A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be very liberal, and among other liberal ideals, was very much in favor of higher taxes to support more government programs, in other words redistribution of wealth.
She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch conservative, a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the lectures that she had participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his.
One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the need for more government programs.
The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father. He responded by asking how she was doing in school.
Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn’t even have time for a boyfriend, and didn’t really have many college friends because she spent all her time studying.
Her father listened and then asked, How is your friend Audrey doing?
She replied, Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy classes, she never studies and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She is so popular on campus; college for her is a blast. She’s always invited to all the parties and lots of times she doesn’t even show up for classes because she’s too hung over.
Her wise father asked his daughter, Why don’t you go to the Dean’s office and ask him to deduct 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your friend who only has a 2.0. That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA.
The daughter, visibly shocked by her father’s suggestion, angrily fired back, That’s a crazy idea, how would that be fair! I’ve worked really hard for my grades! I’ve invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work! Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!
The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently, Welcome to the conservative side of the fence.
If anyone has a better explanation of the difference between conservative and liberal or progressive or neocon I’m all ears.
Honestly, I think this is a cute little parable. It had a solid set-up which had me predicting a different ending (something about the dad paying for the daughter’s school or some such). Making the daughter so extreme, crazy liberal (bet she had a nose ring!) and the dad as level headed and wise (bet he’s from a 1950′s TV show!). And oh how he “schooled” her. So much better than the “May God Strike Me Down” chain letter.
It’s a quaint little Horatio Alger tale that just happens to completely over blow the idea of liberalism and undersell what modern, tea party drenched conservatism is. Liberals are, of course, 100% as guilty of the same garbage. Still, I really wish we had more quaint little conversations like this in real life.
Sane conversations without the ridiculous hyperbole, of course. Sadly, all we will continue to get is hyperbole and screaming heads.
But if the “wise dad” would like to meet a liberal with a mind of their own, unlike brainy little Ms. Brown U, might I suggest a conversation with Bernie Sanders?
Trickle Down Economics have been “in effect” for over 20 years. Since that time the economic gap has widened. If you do not make over $250,000 a year, elected officials of both parties do not care about you, but Republicans care about you less. What liberals are hoping for is not to full redistribution of wealth. Just a little bit to help the laid off survive the economic crisis that the people who caused are thriving in. Again, not because they care, but because they want your vote so they can keep making their 6 figure income.
To be fair, Bernie did happen to skate over the fact that, in all, the top one percent do pay a disproportionately more in taxes, but not by much. And if I can pay 20% in taxes and somehow still survive, anyone who makes a million a year can probably handle losing 30% to taxes. Because you know what they are not going to do with that money? They are not going to create a job unless it is an ABSOLUTE necessity. You see, this is how they stay rich.
I will wait for another day to explain the entirety of my Trickle Down countering economic philosophy, Fizzy Lifting Drink Economics (which is pretty much a dumbed down version of the Keynsian Theory, but, shhh, don’t tell). I will just say that, yes, there are philanthropic rich people out there. When Warren Buffett dies (if he hasn’t already paid for immortality), 99% of his fortune will be given away. But that is a one time thing. If we want the economy to return, we can’t just take the extra tax money and extend unemployment benefits. We need to create job growth with public works programs. Then, not only do we keep people employed, but we improve the infrastructure. Not only that, but all those working people, they feel more comfortable with their situation, so they go and spend their money at WalMart and Target and strip clubs. And where does that money end up? Back in the pockets of rich people.
So maybe the rich people should just consider it a long term investment in a stable economy that will be able to expand their wealth. That’s it, think of taxes like an entrepreneurial start-up that will return your investment with interest. If not, no one can buy your shit, rich people, and we all end up poor.
Projections suggest that such an eruption would be catastrophic to most of the United States, with half the country being “covered in ash up to 3 feet deep,” LiveScience says, adding, “But those same researchers say nothing suggests such an eruption is imminent. They point out, however, that Yellowstone seems to blow its top about every 600,000 years.”
Wait! We shouldn’t worry because Yellowstone blows only every 600,000 years, but the last time it blew was 600,000 years ago? Why should I not be crapping my pants right now?!
RT @phirm: Wow, there sure are a lot of "I can't believe there are so many 'Dude, enough with the Superbowl tweets!' tweets!" tweets. [#]
RT @pleatedjeans: why are the rich angry over people using swedish laws to pirate, but they're happy to use swiss banks for offshore accounts? #reddit [#]
So the gf is apparently watching snail porn. Should I be concerned? [#]
New York Giants quarterback Eli Manning holds the Vince Lombardi trophy (L) as head coach Tom Coughlin looks on after the Giants defeated the New England Patriots in the NFL Super Bowl XLVI football game in Indianapolis, Indiana, February 5, 2012. [REUTERS/Lucy Nicholson]
I can tolerate the Giants winning the Super Bowl. Sort of. But Eli Manning, Mr. I-Won’t-Play-In-San-Diego-Trade-Me-Now, did NOT deserve the MVP yet again. Nor did Brady or anyone else. There has been no single Valuable Player in this last decade. The teams as a whole have won it. And, sadly for my hometown preferences, the teams as a whole have lost it. No one play or player.
You remember the memes, as they were mercilessly hammered into your head with a rusty pike, but do you remember the smash indie films they inspired? No? Too traumatic for you? Well Stefan remembers and decided to share them with the world. Rebecca Black’s “Friday” still haunts my dreams. So much blood…
